Neighbor: Hi Homer!

Homer: What’s up kid.

Neighbor: I was just in Florida dodging hurricanes.

Homer: No kidding! You don't look any worse for wear.

Neighbor: Well it was interesting to say the least. Traffic backed up for miles, a million homes without power. Just awful. Do you have any idea what its like to be without electricity and air conditioning in Florida in the Summer?

Homer: Like camping out?

Neighbor: Ha! That's funny Homer. I'll pass that on. So what's this I hear around the neighborhood you are doing an interview on ethics and what you think about it, etc., etc., etc.

Homer: Yep and it includes all that etcetera stuff too.

Neighbor: You know about ethics Homer?

Homer: You kidding? I've got about 90 years seat of the pants experience! It ought to account for something.

Neighbor: Well what you going to talk about?

Homer: Respect, truthfulness, caring, fairness, responsibility, citizenship, courage, commitment and faith.

Neighbor: I/ve heard of those.

Homer: I'm sure you have. Trouble is, so have most people including those that run the nations big and small businesses, government politicians, professionals like doctors, lawyers, accountants, teachers. academics that populate universities, mutual fund managers, commodities, stock and bond brokers, bankers, insurance executives and virtually every adult in the world; they have all heard of them Kid.

Neighbor: So clue me in what are you going to say? Are you going to say that our country is on the verge of moral collapse, that the youth of today are out of control, that we are losing the war on drugs, that teenage pregnancy is an epidemic, that we are soft on criminals, that...

Homer: Enough! We got problems Kid but they are the kind of problems that have been with us a long, long time. The difference is today, we all find out about them instantly. This accentuates the problem and makes it look bigger in the scheme of things than it is or that the ethical dilemmas are dramatically different than before.

Neighbor: Before?

Homer: Sure, back yesterday, or better yet, just a few moments ago when you didn't know you didn't know.

Neighbor: What?

Homer: Don't dwell on it Kid, it will catch up to you eventually.

Neighbor: OK, OK, I get it. What's the interview for, other than to tap your brain Homer?

Homer: Supposedly for a book.

Neighbor: What's the title?

Homer: They are calling it The Practice of Ethics: A Conversation with Homer

Neighbor: Wow! You're gonna be famous Homer.

Homer: Maybe I'll hire you as my publicist Kid.

Neighbor: Really?

Homer: No, not really.

Neighbor: So Homer, what's the stock market gonna do in this election year -- Is there a play here? Can I make some money?

Homer: Think about the last time we talked Kid. The answer is there.

Neighbor: Huh?

Homer: See ya Kid, gotta go get interviewed.